she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
