he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The dick lei will go down in squad history
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
