i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i have herpe
just one?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
