I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
