just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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