If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
