yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
