Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
