cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
