So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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