He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
