I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
