I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
