could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
