Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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