Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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