Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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