Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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