but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
