Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
