If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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