Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
