yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
