Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
