I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
