i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
