But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
