I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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