eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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