No, you can still breathe under the balls.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Drunk is not a location!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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