Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
