It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Couch. On fire.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
