just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
