Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
