All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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