I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
