so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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