You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
