Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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