I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to walk on stilts...naked
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
