it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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