Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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