Three words: puerto rican gang bang
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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