If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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