I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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