I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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