I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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