If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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