physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
