just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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