You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
