She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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